Read and ratified on 8, February, 2019, at EDCC Monte Nido.
I, Molly Binenfeld, enter into this eaters agreement in a free and willing manner, as a woman who values, above all else, her own recovery. The contents of this agreement are intended to reinforce the values I strive to embody - both as a person in society and in my recovery - and shall serve as my north star and guiding light as I continue this journey. As I am under no illusions that recovery is not linear and progress does not always look or feel comfortable, I am committed to using the words and declarations in this agreement, from this point onwards, should I ever stumble or falter in my pursuit of a life in which I am fully recovered.
I agree to exist in this world a person who is worthy of sustenance, food, love, and compassion. I agree to acknowledge and admit my own needs, and to take positive, consistent actions towards meeting those needs. I no longer agree to sacrifice my own needs for the needs of others, and refuse to shrink my being, my personality, or my soul self to make someone else happy.
I agree to a life of abundance, pleasure, joy, and love, and acknowledge that such a life comes with certain non negotiables I agree to feed myself food, love, praise, and grace, even and especially when I feel undeserving of those things. I agree that these things are not optional for myself, and do not come second to the needs of others.
I agree to use my voice, and not my eating disorder, to resolve conflict, to express my emotions, and to advocate for myself. I agree to surrender my behaviors in favor of my words, and to honor myself by asking for what I need (even if it feels shameful).
I agree to take up space in a world that wishes to quiet me, to raise my voice in a room of silence, and to honor my instincts even if that means eating a burger in a sea full of salads and kale juice. I agree to make my voice heard, to follow my passion to write, and to fulfill my childhood yearning for helping others feel less alone.
I agree to a life of deserving and worth.
I agree to live my life and build a marriage and a family that are congruent with my values, even (and especially when) those values are not shared by the majority. I agree to work together with my partner to solve problems instead of escalating them, to chose being happy over always being right. I agree to a union founded on love, compassion, understanding, and most importantly, truth.
I agree to tacos and enchiladas and pizza and pasta in pink sauce and cream sauce, to doughnuts and Susiecakes and all things filled with cheese. I agree to french fries dipped in thousand island dressing, to Xiao Long Bao in Hong Kong and Green Curry in Thailand, and to salads with avocado and chickpeas and even kale. I agree to a life where no food is off limits, where the most delicious sounding item is the one that will sustain me, and where "healthy" and "fattening" play no part in my food choices.
I agree to a life of feeling over numbing, of sadness over behavior, of sitting with it instead of running a way from it. I promise to travel the world as a curious, respectful, insightful, and humble person, and to enjoy moments and experiences for what they are.
I agree to be present.
I agree to work towards finding peace with my body, because it is the only body I will ever have. I agree to exercise for joy and not for punishment, to eat for satisfaction and nourishment and nothing more.
I agree to a life of inspiration and wonder, and understand and accept that with those things come sadness and hardship and heartbreak. I agree to embrace those hard moments and to let them nourish me and teach me gratitude and compassion.
I agree to a live where a size 0 does not equate with happiness. Where memories are not punctuated by the foods I did not eat or the places I did not see, or the parties I did not go because of the workouts and rules and bullshit I fed myself for so long.
I agree to honesty and transparency. I agree to be as forthcoming with my struggles as I am with my victories.
I agree to a life built upon a foundation of trust. Knowing my eating disorder voice often encourages secrecy, I agree to acknowledging that voice and then politely telling it to fuck off, because I know that's whats best for me. I agree to confrontation and difficult conversations, and the joys and sorrows of a life where those things are not optional.
I agree not to be ruined by a bad day. To journal and be mindful. To write because it brings me joy, to read for pleasure, and to allow myself to relax and take care of myself. I agree that as a human, I deserve self care, and understand that to thrive in recovery I cannot listen to the voice that advises busyness over self care.
I agree, finally, to a life of recovery because I deserve it, and because I cannot live a full and meaningful and memorable life if I do not first nourish my body, my soul, and my needs.