Sustenance

by MB


The future haunted but kept her alive; it remained her sustenance and also her predator.
— Jhumpa Lahiri, The Lowland

What is your why?

Because I don't want to wake up at 26, 30, 50, 65, and remember only what did not sustain me. The food that I didn't eat but which haunted me nonetheless. The trips I took but do not remember. The workouts that I will not forget. The notebooks filled with the curious mind of a college student, notes on Virginia Woolf illegible between margins overflowing with numbers and calculations. 

Because time moves forward, collecting the past into a seperate container, a chapter begging to be closed.

Because I don't need permission to be vulernable.

Because the temporary discomfort of letting go is incomprable to the eternal discomfort of holding on to the things that do not serve me.

Because it's just a feeling, and it will pass.

Because whether or not we like it, we're here.

 

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