Forgiveness

by MB


"The way to stay with him, if you didn't undersatnd exactly where he'd gone, was to eliminate the backdrop of time and place, forget about it, let it fade away, so that it was just the two of you standing against a blankness. So that there was only the present. This was what the two of them knew that no one else had ever understood. Everyone always wanted to know how she could forgive him, but forgiveness was a false premise. The whole idea of forgiveness presumed you were locked in the past and trying to let yourself out. She wasn't going to drag him back in that direction, to make him explain why he'd lived as he'd lived. That wasn't who they were. Each moent bore only on the next one and if you were going to be succesful in ths life, that was the plane on which you had to live. If you started going on your knees to the past, demanding something from it that it hadn't given you the first time around, you were dead. She asked for nothing from it. Neither did he. She was proud of his lifelong refusal to give in to the pathetic narcissism of depression or remorse. He had done what he had done and there was no changeing it. There was no going back."

Jonathan Dee,The Priveleges