180

by MB


The end of the beginning - or the inverse; just the end. Promises and bodies unfulfilled but so very whole. Present, even. Reality gives way to snapshots of what was - the moments that were and could have been but will never be. 

A relationship nurtured by the rhythms of what were once the future. Metal tubes and wiring: 30 to 40 thousand feet above reality, too quick to pay deference to those things that ground us - nature, water, the earth and elements - quick to jump across borders and boundaries, as though the things beneath us are nothing more than an inconvenience to be ferried over.  

Empty promises of the riches that await on the other side. Of stability and love and companionship unburdened by the realities left behind, forgotten between oceans and islands and the unknowing darkness beneath. 

The moments suspended between time and gravity, unencumbered by the problems anchored beneath. For moments we are weightless, nowhere, everywhere, just far from here. 

High on benzodiazepines and dreams and that champagne you could never afford but which runs through your veins, pumped from head to ventricle to lungs.  

Untethered by the fury of wheels screeching against asphalt below. Dissatisfied by stasis and what awaits beneath the confines of this inbetween land. Where money and sickness and wellness and realty dwell only behind the screen, nothing more than plot points and cinematic effect. 

Enough for you to forget the reality of it all. The unsteady baggage carts with limp wheels and squeaky handles, the line of the taxis behind the man that smells and his wife, underdressed for the bitter cold, lamenting her blood is not thick enough for this weather. 

It is December and you breathe in the cold air. It sustains you as it pierces your lungs, turns your ears red and renders nostrils dry and leaky.  

So far from home though you never fully left left. Lulled by the lights and the acrid odor of garbage left out in the cold,  the smell of warm, spiced nuts and the possibility and memories of what was, what could have been - what will be.