The first day

by MB


Awake for 11 hours. A non-event.

I am determined to not make this experience about absence, about yearning. 

I am similarly disinclined to label this as a the beginning - the word ‘experiment’  is apt to make me shudder, because it implies a detachment from the quotidian. 

The first day was today. Just another day. Of worry and anger and confusion and body hatred and laughter and heart-shaped pizza delivered by my fiancé, consumed as we lay together bleary eyed and tired on the couch. It was a day of sleeping in and laying in bed, of errands and unpacking suitcases and discussing things that matter but which we probably won’t remmeber one year from today. 

It was one day. The earth completed one full rotation on its axis. I did not drink.

Tomorrow will be another day. A new day. The earth will again complete another rotation on its axis, it’s second in 48 hours. I will strive to live tomorrow as I lived today. Present. Alive. Emotional. Sober.